I'm dizzy.

Lately I've felt so defeated, maybe it's partially the weather's fault.

And I also feel very distant from a lot of people. I'm living like a ghost. Haha.

It seems like I've desensitized myself from attachment because they all leave in the end anyway. So what's the point of holding on, right? Something like that maybe.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. Just talking to talk I suppose.

Making up for lost time.

It's hard for me to talk about this because it is one of the most painful things I think about when I think about myself.

All I want to say really is...

I hope I can make you proud one day.

I know I've made so many mistakes. And I'll keep making them. I only hope I've learned from them, and will make fewer in the future. But that's never certain.

I miss you. And I'm sorry it took me four years to pay tribute to you like I should have. But it hurt too much to remember all the things I didn't do.

I hope that in heaven, one day you can be proud of the person I'm becoming.
I hope that I can be as strong as you were.